Birthday

(The Beatles, 1968)



Exactly a year ago today, we were sitting in a small windowless room behind one of the gothic façades around the Grand’ Place of Brussels. It was there, in the Maison des Notaires, that, after 15 minutes of hand waving, we became the happy owners of our pile of bricks.

Those interested in the process of Public Auctions in Brussels should go here for all the important information. But for those considering this option, here is how it’s really done:

• Compulsively check the latest offerings, published every week here and on immoweb.
• Turn up at one of the viewings. Don’t expect the person showing you round to tell you anything useful. They’re just paid to unlock the door. But do identify the Curious Neighbour who will also be having a nosey and ask them about the area, the previous owner, the reason for the sale etc. They will know all.
• If you like it, do not fail to mutter within earshot of the other viewers how dark, rotten, remote etc it is.
• If you really like it, go back a second (or even third) time with someone who knows something about houses. We borrowed an architect friend who jumped up and down on the floorboards and gave a ballpark estimate of the renovation costs. Good enough for us, but if you’re worried about something, get a surveyor along (which will cost).
• Here’s the crunch. Put a number on how much you’re willing to pay, given the costs of works. You can pretend to be scientific about it with spreadsheets and estimates, but it will always be a bit finger in the air. The point is that you decide a maximum and stick to it.
• On the day itself, arrive well in advance and check out the other contenders, of course while appearing casual and confident. Psychology, see.
• If you’ve not been to an auction before, get there early and watch an earlier sale. They are all open to the public and nobody will ask you who you are or why you’re there.
• It's time. The Notaire (the one with the big belly and red cheeks) and his side-kick (the waif leaning under a tower of papers – there is a touch of Dickens about it all) arrive and take a seat at the top table. Notary will try to infuse a little humour into the situation (unsuccessfully). He will describe the property, any legal encumbrances or outstanding planning issues, and go through the rules of the sale, very slowly and clearly (in two languages if people so wish). Lots of time for questions.
• Now the fun starts. The Notaire asks if anyone wants to start the bidding. If there is a starting price, he’ll start with that. Otherwise he’ll just ask someone just to name a price. Everyone looks blank. They all know that the person who starts the bidding will never end up with the house.
• The Notaire begins to look a bit fed up; this could be a long afternoon. He tries to move it along. Someone shouts out, EUR 10,000! People snigger. But at least it got things moving. EUR 11,000!, says another. EUR 15,000!, says a third. The Notaire begins to look a bit fed up again; this could be a long afternoon. EUR 100,000! says a man at the front. Notary looks relieved: merci monsieur. The room falls silent; play time is over.
• And it goes on, in increments of EUR 10,000, and as bidders fall away the increments get smaller.
  You’re still in the race, your top price emblazoned on your mind. When this number is reached, resist the temptation to go further. What’s another EUR 2,000 after all. And another. And another. This can be expensive (and could lead to you becoming the so-called "fol enchérisseur").
• If you’re lucky, you might not reach your top price. You’ll just keep up with the bidding, each time topping the last person, and then nobody will say anything else. One time, Two times… and the hammer comes down. Sold to the couple at the back. Eek!
• The room empties fast, and you walk up to the Notaire’s table. You hand over your identity card (weirdly, the first time anyone asks who you are) and sign the record, while he explains the next steps.
• Just as your heart rate has calmed, a man rushes into the room. Is it finished? Am I too late? How much did it go for? Désolé monsieur, you are too late. It went for [a snip]. Monsieur, Oh zut, but I would have paid way more. Can we reopen the bidding? Blood pressure rises. Désolé monsieur, repeats our new friend the Notaire, you are too late ... and breathe...
• But no, it’s not quite over. There might be a ‘Faculté de surenchère’ – meaning that the house is put back on the market, inviting people to bid more than your bargain price. Noooo! The only slight discouragement is that new bidders have to produce EUR 6,200 in cash to a ‘huissier de justice’ (having first found a huissier de justice..).
• So for 15 days you wait. You try not to get your hopes up and gradually resign yourself to defeat. Despondently you start checking immoweb again. And then the phone rings. Madame, we have not received any further bidders; the house is yours.

Public auctions take place every day of the week, and I would very much recommend them for house-hunters needing a kick of adrenaline, or anyone curious about the Brussels property market.

You never know, you might walk away with a bargain.